Today is me and my husband's one year anniversary and I can't believe I've been married for a year!! Time is so fleeting and precious. It's almost scary how fast it's all gone by.
I clearly remember the first time I met Ben. I mean the VERY first time. It was about 8 years ago......
My fashion careers class at OCC was taking a field trip to Paul Frank. We had a tour of the company with one of the owners and then it was off to the art department where Ben took over the tour. I remember thinking- wow what a rad guy. He's so funny and talented and he's listening to Bjork too! (I was obsessed with her at the time) I remember thinking, THIS is the kind of guy I need to end up with. It's too bad I probably won't cause there aren't too many guys like this one.
I even stayed longer than the rest of the class to ask him some... "extra questions". (flirting) But- he had a girlfriend and that was that.
Anyway... we ran into each other more than a few times over the next 5 or so years but nothing special. We never seemed to make a connection. It would be saying a quick hi out at a bar here, (thinking we may have met before but not sure where), being at a birthday party for a mutual friend there. I remember that I almost always flirted a little, but he always had girlfriends. Still to this day, every once in a while I'll mention a party or concert from way back when and he'll say that he was there too. So strange how life plays these little games.
I remember conversations with my girlfriends, the kind we all have-
"I wonder who I'll marry. I wonder who he is and what he's doing. I wonder if we've met already."
Little did I know...
So finally we were ready to meet for reals. It was December 12th, 2005: the Paul Frank Christmas party.
Everything about the way we met was so fateful: How I didn't really want to go, but went anyway. The way I got ditched by the "friend" I went to the party with. The way that some girl was hanging all over Ben all night, but I never saw it; and the way he didn't invite her to harbor house with his friends after the party. The way Darius was my neighbor and also Ben's best friend, and he was the one who invited me to come eat with them before going home. The DEVO sticker on my car that got Ben's attention.
It was a perfectly orchestrated night, completely our of our hands. And somehow, by the end of the night I knew I wanted him to be mine. Now I'm not going to say I knew I was going to marry him... but I promise you SOMETHING jolted inside me and I knew that at that time, I didn't want to be with anyone else. We were at Harbor House at a long table full of mutual friends we didn't know we had when he said it... "well I'm single now, so It's time to get out there..."
That was it. Target locked. My mission was clear.
Our first date was Dec. 23rd. My friends and I were having a Xmas gift exchange at Tsunami and I asked Ben to be my date. I kind of knew we were perfect for each other when I told him that we should have shown up wearing matching tacky Christmas sweaters and he agreed. We spent the next 30 minutes frantically driving from store to store (goodwill, target, stein mart, etc.) looking for said sweaters.
On our second "date" we went to the pet cemetery 'cause neither of us had ever been. Perfection. Someone as strange as me.
Those of you who know me know what happened next. I can't believe how fast everything changed. From deleting my old Myspace page with over 6,000 friends and pictures of me partying all over it, to choosing to stay home most nights, I was a different person. We were together almost every day after that. Ben carved our names into a tree on New Year's day. I was officially his. He was mine.
I had found someone to go to the mall dressed like a vato with just for goofy pictures. I found the man that loved me for exactly who I am. I found myself letting my guard down 100%. I found myself… period. I fell in love so hard and so fast. Ben became my everything. My reason for being. Every day since then I find that I love him more and more. Every day I find something new to love. Everyday I still thank God for sending me this angel who makes life so much better.
I'm not sure why I'm writing all this. It's not really to brag; I guess it's to let everyone know that I know how lucky I am. I try not to take a minute of it for granted. I truly believe that everyone can find love like this. Everyone should and I hope everyone does. The world would be a better place, that's for sure.
I was an asshole growing up. I was mean to my little sister and I was terrible to my parents. I was a pothead and a troublemaker and in my mind, I sometimes question if I deserve to be so happy. Like, why me? So if you feel like you can't find it... YOU CAN. I'm totally preaching here but seriously people... don't waste any more time with the bad eggs. Hold out for the good ones- they're out there. It's worth the wait.
Anyway... Benjamin I love you. Thank you for the feeling you give me in my tummy every day. Thank you for tickling me even when I act like I don't like it. Thank you for calling me out when I'm being a brat and for not taking my crap. Thank you for cooking me hamburgers and for letting me blame the farts on you. Thank you for building our home and making it better with a puppy. Thanks for making me feel safe and holding me tight. Thank you for cuddles and kisses every night. Thank you for never being embarrassed of me. Thank you for being proud of me. Thanks for loving me in the exact way I need to be loved. Thank you for being exactly who you are.
Thank you for the best year of my life and here's to 100 more.
